Now the Wind Must Swallow Me

I have no way to know the way back,
no past I belong to,
no two I can be one of,
a pair pared down to these damp dawns,
the restless humming inside
my arms, between my ribs.

I have only constant dreams
and the gray light that fills my eyes
and turns to brightness,
only desire as strong as a horse—
to ride a white stallion into the sea,
to go deeper without fear,
without hurry, to feel the salt sting my lips,
fill my tired mouth.

On winter days, my teeth ache.
I am sick with being alone
and the wind is fierce
and the cold bites my neck
and I try to give myself
to all of it, to be consumed.